Dear V*

I've always thought that I would only confine these dumb letters to all the boys I've loved in high school, but no, apparently, I have a knack for writing love letters to every single boy that weakens these knees. So. here's yours.. for weakening my knees.

The thought of being apart from you next semester heaves my heart the way an anchor would heave a boat still in the ocean. Meeting you has grown to become my favorite accident. You have wit and your laughter is both ugly and infectious at the same time, but that isn't the reason why you mean so much to me. I'm not hopelessly in love with you.. yet, but it feels good to get these words I'll never tell you off my chest, I don't know if it's the way we have so much chemistry between each other (and yet nobody knows except us) or is it the way you are so gentle when it comes to me, but being around you makes me feel so brand new.

I started off clueless of how I feel about you. Your name is all over the corridor of the fifth floor; your heartbreaking two-timing reputation echoes through the girl's bathroom. Only recently have I gotten to know you better, so much better. I know where your birthmark is, and how you hate the fact it's tattooed onto you forever without your slightest consent. I know where you feel most ticklish and almost all your passwords. All I remember is that I have been late to class one too many times. Unaware of the probability we would both be late for class together, you came in one day and took a seat next to me. By the end of class, I was only certain of one thing: I wanted you to sit next to me in EVERY class.

It was the aura you bring that allowed me to see you differently. It's funny, you weren't one to stand out, but the better I knew you, the deeper others drown in your very presence and you are the only island I see. Now, we fall asleep in cars, share secrets and I would even sit next to you on days I got lucky. You would only text to ask about coursework but now I find you in almost every sleepless night. I am low-key crazy about that jawline and olive skin, but who could tell? I will never go an encounter without laughing at all our jokes. I adored you through all your haircuts. We share the same wandering spirit and I become more and more excited for the future at the thought of all the adventures we'll have together, in both cold and exotic lands. I don't know how I feel about us but I am so happy around you. No one could compare.

The electric we share is built of "If Only's", and I have completely no idea how you feel about me. You are my laughter; the brightest shade of tangerine, but allowing you to follow me deeper into myself would stain you an ugly cobalt blue. You are so beautiful. I should never deprive you of your pantone. You stand magnificent on your own, without me. Or perhaps with a shade as iridescent as yourself; maybe a tender mauve? Which is exactly what your girlfriend is.

The optimistic and wholesome spirit she is, is the person I will never become. I am too troubled, too angry, too sensitive and too hurt to bloom in adversity the way she has. I love to listen to you talk about your family, I wish I could say the same for myself. Alas, I can't. I am going to miss your careful, wary and quiet self once we graduate. Maybe then, will I finally have the eye to see you for what you truly are, which could either be, A. yet another encounter or B. my soulmate in the hands of another woman because I am far too careless to keep what could have been for me.

I hope you never stop wearing my bracelet because I sure as hell will never stop wearing yours.